


how to do everything

by funkism



Series: casually kissing the homies [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Astral Projection, Casually Kissing the Homies, Hint of Touch-Starvation, M/M, Making Out, Potential Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:01:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21845602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkism/pseuds/funkism
Summary: How to Perform Astral Projection: 10 Steps (with Pictures)does not cover what to do when you walk in on your roommate making out with your best friend.Go figure.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno
Series: casually kissing the homies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677607
Comments: 42
Kudos: 246
Collections: ’00 FIC FEST: ROUND ONE





	how to do everything

**Author's Note:**

> thank you tea for being the world’s best admin and thank you noah for being the world’s best beta !! <3___<3
> 
> rating for language and ?? content ?? #00302

Weird shit happens when Donghyuck has too much free time. 

Or, as other people might put it, Donghyuck does weird shit when he has too much free time. (‘Other people’ for the most part being just about anyone that’s ever had to live with him.)

And only recently did Donghyuck think that maybe—just maybe!—they were a little bit right. But, truly, very little. Negligibly little. 

The way Donghyuck sees it, he only has so much time in this life to act on his most frivolous impulses and curiosities. And for every one of said impulses and curiosities, a wikiHow tutorial awaits. 

Sometimes it works backwards, a tutorial inspiring him to try something new.

It’s a quiet Saturday evening. He, Renjun, and Jeno are sprawled around the living room and Donghyuck is being a nuisance to wikiHow’s random article feature—as he was wont to do when bored and ignored. 

He’s about to shut his laptop and whine at Jeno for coming over only to not pay attention to him when he sees the title of the last tutorial he pulled up.

_How to Perform Astral Projection: 10 Steps (with Pictures)._

He purses his lips. Now that’s something he’s never considered. Too lazy to sit up, Donghyuck waves half-heartedly at Renjun, resident tinhatter. 

“Hey.”

Renjun doesn’t even look up from his phone, too engrossed in whatever he’s scrolling through.

“What?”

“Any thoughts on astral projection?” Donghyuck asks, jumping to the bottom of the page to see the related tutorials linked there.

He bookmarks the one on telepathy and looks up right as Renjun spares him a glance.

“Uh… never done it, kind of doubt it.”

“So, just checking,” Donghyuck ticks off his fingers as he goes, “ghosts: yes, aliens: yes, Bigfoot: not off the table, astral plane: unlikely.”

“Mm, yeah,” Renjun shrugs. “Metaphysical stuff in general seems kinda out there.”

Jeno’s sitting on the floor, deemed useless by the fact that he’s still actually watching the documentary and misses out on Renjun’s response. Donghyuck shares a look with you before turning back to his laptop.

“I see,” he muses, _that I’m icy_ -ing under his breath.

The wikiHow tutorial’s first step (under a picture of a rather senually drawn cartoon woman stretching in bed, which he immediately drags onto a folder on his desktop that’s full of other cartoon people,) suggests that he try having his out-of-body-experience, or OBE, in the morning, which—he glances at the clock—7:57PM—it is certainly not. 

Though, an amendment shortly after says there are no hard and fast rules in astral projection, and that one should astral project when they feel _empowered_ to do so. Upon some internal reflecting, and a quick skim of the tutorial summary, Donghyuck reaches the conclusion that he is, indeed, feeling empowered enough to edge himself in front of his friends tonight. 

(This is derived from the fact that he’d have to lull himself to sleep, but hold himself back right at the end. _Tease_ his unconscious. 

That’s how he understands it, anyway. Deep-sleep edging.) 

Donghyuck pops his neck and reaches into the chip bag he propped up next to him. What’s the worst that could happen?

He… falls asleep? 

He, Renjun, and Jeno were good enough friends that Donghyuck knows they _could_ go through his phone (Renjun knows his passcode and Jeno slipped his fingerprint in there at some point), but they probably _wouldn’t_.

They _would_ absolutely seize the chance to draw on his face though.

And yet, as Donghyuck crunches on another chip, he thinks it’s a small con. Considering the sheer amount of mischief he could get up to, and get away with, if this worked… he doesn’t think there’s much that would stop him from trying, at this point. 

_Creating the right atmosphere_ is step two. Donghyuck doesn’t want to get up, and the documentary might put him to sleep faster than the air conditioner in his room anyway. He’s in his coziest sweatpants, and that feels most important, so he slips the couch blanket from Renjun and wraps it around himself, ignoring his roommate’s complaints about cold feet, to really make it _right_. 

“Bite the bullet, buy some fuzzy socks,” he says. “Also, don’t steal any of my chips.” 

“I don’t even _like_ your chips,” Renjun says, briefly looking at him to squint at the bag next to his makeshift cocoon.

“Yeah, well, they keep going missing and you’re the only other person that lives here, so unless it’s Miss Jung—”

“Donghyuck, _please_ leave our landlord alone.”

“I will!” he sits up, insistent. “Because it’s you! But, sure, that’s subject to change, if it actually isn’t you and then, by default, _her_.”

“Miss Jung can and will deck you,” Renjun warns, as if Donghyuck’s never met Miss Jung.

“She’s a sweet old lady,” Jeno says, the first time he’s acknowledged them since they started the documentary. “Renjun, can you turn it up a little bit?” 

(Ah.)

“No, I agree with him,” says Donghyuck, “I think she would. Which is _why_ I have no problem squaring up if she’s the thief!”

Renjun groans something that sounds like _please don’t_ and grabs the remote from under one of the pillows he’s commandeered. He turns the volume up, dolphin clicks spilling into their living area.

“Don’t worry. I have heard the masses. _Shut up, Donghyuck!_ they cry. Donghyuck shuts up,” he says, snuggling deeper into his blanket with a pout. 

Jeno makes sort-of an effort to respond, “Hyuck that’s not—” but he’s pulled back in by the dolphins.

“No, no,” he sniffs, “Donghyuck’s shutting up now.” 

“It’s a miracle,” Renjun mumbles, chin tucked against his chest as he goes back to his phone.

And if he hadn’t just said that not much would get in his way of trying to astral project, Donghyuck would’ve acted on his urge to smother Renjun with the very pillows he was lying on.

It’s not often he’s faced with a conflict of impulses, but they would see who’s laughing when he’s in the astral plane, getting all kinds of embarrassing information from Renjun’s room that he can later feed back to him in increasingly intricate and worrying ways. Maybe, Donghyuck would find evidence that linked Renjun to his missing chips. 

Oh, yes, that’s right, dubiously unethical mind games disguised as a series of pranks and the potential clearing of Miss Jung’s name, here he comes. 

“Okay, okay, okay,” Donghyuck mutters to himself, squeezing his eyes shut. If he got too excited about the look on Renjun’s face after any of these pranks _before_ they’ve even happened, he wouldn’t be able to sink into the right headspace, henceforth destroying his chances of seeing the look on Renjun’s face in the first place.

That, simply, could not happen.

Relax.

Relax his muscles, is what the wikiHow says he has to start off with. Relax his muscles, breathe deeply, and clear his mind. 

The first two are straightforward enough, but how does he clear his mind? Maybe he should’ve looked into that more, but it’s too late—the blanket conditions too perfect to recreate if he moved.

All he remembers from the tail end of the step, as far as tips go, are the words _quartz crystal_ and the tragic goatee of the white man drawn over the textbox, so. He’s on his own on this one, more or less.

No. 

Less!

Because lying there, in his living room, faintly registering the sound of crashing waves and the dip of the couch as someone shifts, Donghyuck remembers his aunt.

His aunt had tried to show him how to meditate (clear his mind) once. He might’ve been… nine? Nine sounds right. He remembers the _it’s already empty, Auntie!_ comment his sister had made.

Thinking back on why he was with his aunt in the first place—his mom, tired of the messes he’d make during the summer out of boredom, had said _when our Donghyuckie’s mind is restless, the rest of the house is, too_ —he wonders if being an annoying little shit was an inherited trait.

“ _Hyuck-ah_ ,” his aunt had said, “ _clearing your mind, when we try too hard to do it, can end up adding to our stress in the end. For— yes, I know that’s backwards, you don’t have to make that face. For me, it helps to gently push my thoughts away, rather than force them into nothing. Just… gently… push. Let them… float… away..._ ”

It hadn’t worked then. Donghyuck opting to poke at his sister’s side the entire time his aunt had her eyes closed, instigating their quietest fight to date. (Donghyuck has always sworn that he heard his aunt quietly slip, _“Thank God I’m infertile,”_ into her hymn-chant, but no one else would corroborate this detail, so it lived on only with him.)

Now, he actually tries putting her words into practice. 

His thoughts are a beach ball and he is but the gentle waves of a sleepy sea. 

_“Try to wiggle your fingers and your toes, loosen up. Then, your arms and legs. Then, feel your energy in your torso, up your chest, how your breath goes_ in _and_ out.” 

His sister, his aunt, his chips, his friends; he lets them all float away. 

“Are you actually upset, Hyuck?”

_“There you go, Hyuck-ah.”_

“Did he… fall asleep...?”

_“Let go.”_

With an ease he doesn’t remember ever feeling, Donghyuck sinks.

He finds that it is echoey. Wherever he is. 

He thinks, _hello_ , and hears, _hello-hello-hello-hello_ back.

Donghyuck opens his eyes to darkness. 

He looks down at himself, where his body should be, but there’s nothing. In every direction, as far as he thinks he can see, there is nothing.

Hm. 

Must’ve slipped a little too deep into unconsciousness. (I.e., he didn’t manage to edge himself after all. Disappointing.)

Donghyuck is, however, lucid.

He could work with lucid.

He closes his eyes and tries to will his way to the surface. In the giant claw game that was the waking world, Donghyuck was a little green man, and he was about to disappoint the kid on the Other Side. (Consciousness, not death.)

Donghyuck imagines what the murkiness at his feet looks like, tries to manifest himself being yanked out of it and into the plane beyond his own. Almost as soon as his feet move in the water, he feels a pull in his gut. Everything flickers around him, an ominous warbling sound echoing into oblivion. Something looms over him. Donghyuck pauses. 

Maybe… more gentle. 

More gentle might be a better approach.

He lies down, like he remembers his corporeal body lying. And with an instinct he doesn’t recognize, he knows he has to wait. Allow the cool water to pull away from his face, let him breathe again. 

Both a second and an eon pass by before anything happens. Time is an illusion, and Donghyuck is on the cusp of astral projecting. At least, he thinks he is. Feels pretty close to it.

He floats and floats and floats to the top—he breaks surface. When he opens his eyes this time, he sees the living room’s ceiling.

_Fuck. Yes._

Donghyuck lifts his hand, watches it split apart from his… hand. The one he moves shimmers, he can see _through_ it. The other one stays still under the blanket. He takes stock of the rest of his body, it seems that everything’s in order, which he can appreciate.

With some effort, like Donghyuck’s astral body and corporeal body are velcroed together, he sits up and looks down.

Donghyuck laughs, then flinches. For a second he expects something to pop out and smite him for disrupting the tranquility of the plane, but there is nothing. Only him.

Okay.

He turns back to himself, grinning at how he’s _sitting_ there and lying _there_ at the same time.

He actually did it.

He was one with the cartoon wikiHow people. 

Climbing out of his body is— an odd experience to say the least. As he steps further away, he notices a blurry white line connecting them, floating and bending to a nonexistent breeze. That same, inexplicable sense of understanding that helped him ascend told him the cord tethered him to his vessel, that he should probably express some gratitude.

Donghyuck shoots some finger guns at it, says, “Thank you, astral umbilical cord— woah,” because about half-way through, his hearing _whooshes_ out, then back on, then out again. He frowns at the ground as he concentrates, trying to make sense of the rhythm his ears were succumbing to, but finds that he can’t. 

Uh. 

For now, he’ll pin it on his senses acclimating to the plane change and not any more… permanent possibilities. In the meantime, he looks around the living room. It’s a little darker than he remembered it being, but not by much. More confusing is the absence of his friends. A documentary is playing on the television—but it’s on a completely different ecosystem so Donghyuck has no idea if it’s the same one they had on before.

It might’ve been… an hour?

A whole day and then some, maybe. 

Haha.

Probably... not the latter. 

Right?

Donghyuck almost yells when Jeno jumps up from behind the couch. His ears pop, and he’s allowed to hear Jeno’s “Aha!” before everything tunes out again. In his fist, Jeno holds the remote. He goes to hop over the back of the couch, but one glance Donghyuck’s way and he’s walking around to sit at the other end instead. 

He crosses his legs and Donghyuck inches to the side until he’s directly in Jeno’s line of sight. Not a single attempt to move or look around him. Jeno brings the end of his hoodie string to his mouth, perfectly content to continue watching. His lips move as he says something. Donghyuck only catches the end of it. 

“—like them?”

Donghyuck’s form prickles as Renjun steps through him. He puts his hands to his chest like there’d be Renjun-shaped hole there, but there isn’t, of course. His roommate’s hands are stuffed in the pockets of his joggers, even as he stops in front of Jeno to respond to him, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“I mean, yeah, they’re tasty, but I’d say Donghyuck’s rage is really the most fulfilling part—”

He isn’t privy to the rest, but Donghyuck can take a shot at what they were talking about. He glances at where he remembers leaving his chip bag. 

Nothing. 

“Bastard,” Donghyuck curses.

He pauses again, just once more, in case the Swear™ was the thing that’d sic an astral being on him, for breaking the peace, but still; there was nothing.

Noted. 

He blows out a breath and walks through the television, the wall, and Renjun’s dresser. Renjun’s bedroom door wasn’t that far away, but m, admittedly, walking through stuff was quite fun. His eyes trail over the corner where his roommate’s desk is, a few papers scattered across it, lamp all wonky from being shoved aside all the time. Renjun’s floor is mostly free from clothes and his bed is made and Donghyuck could hate him, he really could. Of course the messiest thing in Renjun’s room was his _desk_. Idiot.

In between the desk and the dresser sits a trash can, and in it, something catches the light. Donghyuck crouches down, quickly spotting the wrinkled, empty chip bag inside. He rolls his lips and scoffs.

“I don’t— I don’t even _like_ them, Donghyuck,” he says. 

_Bastard_.

Without thinking about it, he goes to pick up the bag. His hand phases right through it. 

Damn.

“—ser takes a nap at eight?”

“I don’t know. Do you have a marker though?”

“Oh, dude, yes—”

Donghyuck shoots up so fast he floats. 

He stumbles through Renjun’s door, arms swinging around as he tries to balance. Remembering that, abstractly, nothing is real and he can just _think_ up the plane he wants to walk on helps, but he accidentally overestimates the angle and confidently steps right through the floor.

Renjun exits the kitchen then, fresh bag of chips in one hand, marker in the other. Donghyuck stares at where his foot disappears into the wood panelling and sighs, resigns himself to watch as Renjun passes the chips to Jeno and bends over Donghyuck’s body, marker uncapped.

“—French?”

“Of course,” Renjun hums, fingertips lightly resting on his face as he draws two thin curls under Donghyuck’s nose. 

Meanwhile, much to Donghyuck’s dismay, Jeno’s opening the second bag of chips, the pop! the last thing he hears before everything cuts out again. He sighs, stuck halfway between the television and the couch.

Renjun makes a show of placing the bag exactly where the last one was, holding his fingers up to frame the still-life. He seems to confer with Jeno, who says something that looks like _almost_ before reaching over and extracting a generous handful of chips.

_Wasn’t empty_ , he says, holding a chip up to Renjun’s mouth.

_Your mind_ , is all he gets from Renjun’s response before he’s leaning forward with a knee next to Jeno’s and taking the chip with his teeth.

Jeno taps his temple and Donghyuck rolls his eyes. This is _not_ what he came for. 

Well, it is, but he’s _got it_.

Renjun sits down on Jeno’s left, shoulders pressed together as he tucks a leg under himself. They’re awfully close, but Donghyuck’s too hung up on the ruse (the new chip bag, Jeno sprucing it up so it looked like the one Donghyuck had left behind) to think anything of it. 

Begrudgingly, he’ll say there was impressive attention to detail involved, but he didn’t have it in him to fully praise the connivery, too bitter about being the connived.

It’s when he shifts his focus back to saving his foot from the floor ( _it isn’t real, it isn’t real_ he tells himself) that Donghyuck feels the now-familiar pressure on his ears, the signal that he can hear again. Maybe it switched back off again right after though, because it’s just as silent.

He finally manages to free himself, and glances up. Renjun, his roommate, is staring at Jeno, and Jeno, his best friend, is staring right back. Jeno’s eyes flick down to Renjun’s mouth, and Donghyuck can’t tell if his ears are ringing because of how quiet it is or if that’s just what they’re meant to do before the astral plane collapses in on him.

Renjun closes the gap, and when Jeno’s eyes flutter closed, Donghyuck finds himself holding his breath. Jeno’s arms raise like he’s not sure what to do with them, and for a second Donghyuck thinks he’ll shove good-naturedly at Renjun’s shoulder and the two will separate and laugh about whatever the fuck _that_ was. Except, he doesn’t. And it’s then that Donghyuck realizes this is… happening. Renjun turns, and Jeno does the same, matching Renjun’s pace as they kiss. His roommate moves his hand to Jeno’s leg so he can lean over his lap, and Jeno curls his hand around Renjun’s arm. Donghyuck coughs into his fist.

“Mm. Haha. What?” he breathes, glancing around the living area for anything that gave the set-up away, either from his friends or this astral being he’s so suspicious of.

In classic astral plane fashion, there is nothing.

Slowly but surely, Renjun is sliding his way into Jeno’s lap, free hand on his jaw, just shy of brushing Jeno’s ear and— _why_ was Donghyuck paying so much _attention_?

Neither Jeno or Renjun have ever mentioned liking the other beyond the way Donghyuck assumes they all like each other. He genuinely can’t say he’s ever noticed any kind of tension between them. Had he been oblivious to it? 

Was it something else entirely? 

Either way, Donghyuck would have never predicted Renjun and Jeno to be the first among the three of them to kiss each other. Possible relationship aside, if anyone in their friend group is affection deprived—or, is _vocal_ about it at least—it’s Donghyuck. He’d always thought he’d...

Ah, well, that— that’s not exactly where he meant for that train of thought to go.

Face feeling a little warm (somehow?) Donghyuck tries to pluck at his shirt to give himself something to do. Cool down. (Seriously, how?)

Donghyuck, cursedly, hears his friends separate before he sees them. They do that quiet staring thing some more before Renjun clears his throat.

“Okay?” he asks.

Jeno’s tongue darts out, runs over his lips that are pulled up in a weird little grin. “Yeah.”

“...Again?”

Jeno chuckles quietly, says, “Sure.”

Donghyuck plucks harder at his shirt.

They lean forward at the same time and all of Donghyuck’s efforts are futile. This time, Jeno is more bold, presses in closer, holds Renjun tighter. Renjun shifts so he’s fully facing Jeno and they’re _kissing_ kissing.

(Making out, his brain supplies.)

His vision flickers, that warbling sound returning, and his eyelids fall heavy for a few seconds. When he snaps out of it he’s closer to his friends, his silver cord considerably shorter that it was. 

Donghyuck also might’ve lost some time, because it was _worse_.

Jeno has one hand up in Renjun’s hair and both of Renjun’s arms are looped around his neck, unbothered by the fact that, to their knowledge, Donghyuck was still _passed_ out not even three feet away.

Donghyuck pauses at that. Why _were_ they doing this right in front of him?

Jeno gives Renjun one more kiss before he leans back, puts some space between them. He glances at the opposite end of the couch. At Donghyuck’s body.

“What about Hyuck?” he asks.

_Exactly_ , thinks Donghyuck, _thank y_ —

“What about him?” Renjun asks in turn. He doesn’t even look at him fully.

_Bitch?_

Donghyuck scoffs, the question a direct hit for some reason. 

“What _about_ me, asshole?” he says, shoving at Renjun’s shoulder.

Something weird happens, something out of place. Donghyuck makes contact, eyes going wide as Renjun goes limp in Jeno’s lap and a shimmery silhouette comes over him. 

Donghyuck… had touched him?

Renjun rises, body splitting away from the one draped over Jeno. Aforementioned friend pats at Renjun’s back, looking more confused the longer Renjun doesn’t respond.

“Are you… uh… are you good there, buddy?”

“What,” Renjun breathes hard, holding his hands up in front of him, looking at Jeno _through_ them. “J-Jeno?”

Renjun reaches up to touch him and flinches when he goes right through him.

“What the _fuck_?”

Obviously, not taking too well to being booted out of his body. (Very few would, to be fair.) Donghyuck, while still fairly indignant about everything that’s happened that fine Saturday night, has been there, so he says, “Hey, Renjun.”

His roommate spins around, and if gravity existed here, he would’ve toppled right off.

“ _Donghyuck?_ ”

Donghyuck does a little salute.

“Hey.”

“What do you _mean_ ‘hey’? What is this?” Renjun asks, face all twisted up.

“The—uh. The astral plane.”

“Renjun?” Jeno asks. He pokes at Renjun’s chest, frowning when he slumps over onto the couch. “Hello?” 

“You’re serious?” Renjun asks, torn between staring Donghyuck down for answers and gaping at his body. 

“Yup.”

“You astral… projected?”

“Mhm.”

“ _How?_ ”

Jeno is getting a little worried, shaking Renjun’s shoulders and asking if he’s okay. Next, he’ll be shouting _YOU, CALL EMERGENCY SERVICES!_ and psyching himself up to resuscitate Renjun to the tune of _Stayin’ Alive_. Somewhere out there, his middle school health teacher would shed a single tear, knowing Jeno Lee Did Good.

“Oh, you know,” Donghyuck says.

He drifts over to Jeno, hoping for the best when he pushes at his shoulder the same way he had Renjun’s. He feels it again, the contact, before Jeno goes limp as well, head falling heavily against the top of the couch, hand on Renjun’s shoulder. “WikiHow.” 

Jeno’s translucent head snaps up at Donghyuck’s voice. He looks at them, opening his mouth in a small ‘o’.

Donghyuck waves.

“You... you wikiHow’d how to astral project? And it worked?” Renjun asks.

In a stunning instance of clarity (or, now that Renjun and Jeno’s big heads aren’t in the way, he sees the open pantry door), Donghyuck remembers part of why he was here in the first place.

“Yes,” Donghyuck steps closer, “I,” and closer, “did.” He shoves a finger through Renjun’s sternum. “Thief.”

“You— _Donghyuck_ ,” Renjun groans, dragging his hands down his face before pinching his fingers together as he speaks, “you are in the _astral_ plane and you’re talking about your fucking _chips_?” 

“They’re very important to me,” Donghyuck says plainly. He’s not sure why that isn’t obvious by now, since Renjun’s there when he leaves the apartment every Sunday morning to go to the farmer’s market and stock up on his bags for the week; there for the very loud tangents he goes on when he finds his stash mysteriously depleted and the very pointed accusations he (rightfully) throws at him after. 

Renjun just shakes his head and looks around the room.

“I didn’t know ride-alongs were part of the deal,” he says.

“I… yeah, actually I have no idea how that happened. Definitely wasn’t in the wikiHow,” says Donghyuck.

“Wait, so that’s real? This is the same wikiHow we used when we forgot how to skin an orange?” Jeno asks. 

Renjun’s face crumples, riddled with sadness as he turns to them.

“How to _skin_ —?”

“Yes,” Donghyuck interrupts. It’s supposed to answer Jeno’s question but it inadvertently does Renjun’s as well. “It was eight in the morning and— anyway, I will not take slander from a liar, a con, nor a betrayer. Your crimes against Donghyuck-kind are grave.”

Renjun crosses his arms.

“Does the fact that you’re a voyeur balance us out any or…?”

There it goes again.

The Transcendental Blush.

“I— am _not_ —”

Renjun’s head cocks to the side, he barrels on, asks, “So, you were just stood right here, thinking about your chips the whole time? Didn’t pay Jeno and I any mind?” 

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck scoffs, “which one of us was making out with Jeno next to a presumably _sleeping person_? Must I say it? The exhibionist jumped out. Also, what the fuck, are you guys dating?” 

Both of Renjun and Jeno seem taken aback by the question, Jeno looking particularly blank. 

“No, that’s, um, the first time that’s happened,” he says.

“Sure looked comfortable,” Donghyuck says, sounding more disgruntled about it than he meant to. 

Renjun catches him on it because he’s Renjun and of course he does.

“Gonna cry about it?” he says. “Ickle Hyuckie wants some kisses?”

And Donghyuck takes the bait with both hands and his teeth because he’s Donghyuck and of course he does. _Fuck_ Renjun.

“Mm,” he pouts, “you live with me and you don’t know the answer to that? Why keep denying me when you so clearly want some, too?”

Jeno looks like he’d be gripping a pillow right about now if he could. “Guys—”

“In what realm am _I_ as needy as _you_?”

“Depends. Did you want me to wake up? To notice you? Catch you?”

Renjun pauses, swallows, and Donghyuck is filled with his favorite emotion—perverse glee.

“Then, I’d say that bumps you up to two, love,” he simpers. It doesn’t really make much sense, since Renjun hadn’t known Donghyuck would be watching from the astral plane, but the details don’t matter to him when he can get Renjn’s nostrils flaring like that.

“Fuck off.”

“And what about Jeno?” he asks.

“What about—” Renjun starts, but catches himself, because he’s Renjun, and of course he does. 

In one breath, he deflates, and Donghyuck does as well. 

“Listen, that’s... I didn’t mean it like that.”

Donghyuck tilts his head, tries to play it cool, like he’s not itching to know, “What did you mean it like, then?”

“You were—” Renjun winces, clearly working hard to overcome whatever great pain belies what he wants to say. “You were kind of r…ight.” 

Delicious four and a half words aside, Donghyuck has the sense to stay quiet. To wait. 

Renjun looks up at him briefly. 

“I wanted you to notice,” he says. 

Donghyuck falters at the confession, and then he gets flustered for thinking of it as a confession. 

“Well, I sure... did.”

Renjun chuckles. “Not how I expected you to though.”

There’s just one thing he needs clarified.

“As your roommate and friend,” says Donghyuck, “can I ask...?”

Renjun nods slowly.

“Is this, like, your kink?”

“Wh— I—,” Renjun splutters. “ _No._ ”

“Because, no judgement from me, okay? I just like to know what I’m getting into, so—”

“Donghyuck, this isn’t— I mean, yeah, it’s hot, but—”

“ _Hot!_ ” he squawks.

Jeno’s laughing at them from his spot on the couch, one of his legs definitely halfway through a cushion.

“I wanted you to join, yeah? Okay? Because I fuck with you like that,” says Renjun.

It’s perhaps the most infuriating way he could’ve said _I like you_ but Donghyuck can’t help but feel touched. This is Renjun, and he _fucks with Donghyuck like that_ , and that’s beautiful.

“I’m honored,” he says, honestly a little misty about it.

Jeno make a sound upon noticing his leg situation and Donghyuck coughs. “But, really. What about Jeno?”

“I like Jeno,” Renjun says, shrugging. “Good friend, good kisser.”

Jeno smiles from his spot on the couch, pleased with the answer. Donghyuck clasps his hands together. So Jeno gets an actual _I like_? 

“I would’ve left, to give you two some space for all of this, but I don’t know… how. Sorry,” Jeno says with a smile, because he’s Jeno, and of course he does.

Donghyuck supposes he could have the _I like_.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” he says. “And, really, I can’t believe you let Renjun kiss you before me, come _on_ , dude.” 

Jeno shrugs.

“First come, first serve?” 

Donghyuck covers his mouth.

“Oh, my god,” he says, slightly muffled.

“Amazing,” says Renjun. “Jeno’s a himbo.”

Jeno holds his hands up before letting them fall back down to his lap, smiling good-naturedly. Donghyuck can’t help but follow his hands with his eyes, remembering Renjun sitting in that very spot, not so long ago.

_I wanted you to join._

Was he in this, then? 

“So...”

Renjun follows his gaze, then looks back at him, something meaningful tucked away in the smirk he puts on, the way he checks Donghyuck out even though they’re all pretty translucent.

“So. Now that you _have_ noticed, now that you know. What are you going to do about it?” he says.

“What am _I_ going to do about it?” Donghyuck asks.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Can I ask you something again?”

“Sure?”

Donghyuck points loftily at Jeno. His lap, specifically.

“How good of a seat was he?”

Renjun’s enticing face loses some of its composure when he snorts. 

“Ah,” he nods. “I’d say… sturdy? Comfortable. In good condition, would definitely recommend.”

Jeno beams again, his brow twitches as he turns to Donghyuck, almost switching with Renjun in that now he’s the one looking at him with certain intentions, something like mirth in his gaze when he cocks his head to the side.

What’s he going to do about it?

“You interested in trying, Hyuckie?” Jeno asks, uncrossing his legs and leaning back as he does and—

Get them all back into their bodies _now_ , that’s what Donghyuck’s going to do about it. 

Donghyuck walks up to Jeno and tries to recall what it had felt like to reach through planes and touch him, says, “See you on the other side,” when his fingertips dip into his form and it shudders and stills. Jeno’s shimmery outline disappears and Donghyuck takes that as him having been successfully tossed back into his body.

“Eager much?” Renjun asks, closer than Donghyuck remembers him being. 

“You and me both,” he reminds him as obnoxiously as he can. 

“H—”

“No, no,” says Donghyuck, holding a finger up, “be good and remember to keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the vehicle at all—”

“Just. Put me down.”

Donghyuck grins, and finds that with Renjun, he barely has to touch his form for his cord to snap, his silhouette fading to nothing shortly after. Donghyuck waits for them to wake up in the physical world, in case he did something wrong (aside from everything he’s probably done wrong, technically). It doesn’t take long, and they look okay, if not a little groggy. On to him, then.

Donghyuck closes his eyes, knows his snap won’t be like theirs—the same way he knows things about this place that he really doesn’t. His mind’s eye sees the glimmering white cord as clearly as he would if he were seeing it himself. He follows it to its anchor, trusting it to take him back, even though he’s, once again, in oblivion.

He hears the beginnings of sounds, Renjun’s complaints, Jeno groaning as he stretches, and Donghyuck grins. Everything flickers around him, and he’s swept away.

The astral plane spits him out, surges him through the murkiness and into consciousness with haste. Like it regretted letting him in in the first place. He supposes he can’t really blame it. The first thing Donghyuck notices upon his return is a tightness in his chest, how it feels like all the air in the room is fighting to be his first breath. It leaves him gasping as he scrambles out of his blanket, too stifled to stand it. 

He’s on his hands and knees as he’s sent into a coughing fit, and in the middle of it, Donghyuck finds relief when he doesn’t phase through the floor. A heavy hand thumps at his back. 

“Donghyuck, are you okay? Donghyuck?” Renjun’s crouched in front of him, arms outstretched as if to catch him if he starts swaying. 

He forces himself to sit as upright as he can, open up his chest, or something. “Yeah,” he nods, already over the worst of the coughs. He just has to even his breaths out, shake himself out of it.

“Went through that too fast,” he says. He pats Jeno’s knee and the hand on his back stops, soothing circles there instead.

“Part of the wikiHow experience?”

Donghyuck points half-heartedly at Renjun’s nose.

“Easy.” 

He stands, and immediately Jeno’s hand is around his own.

“I’m just guessing here, since I was shoved back into my body instead of getting an actual answer, with words, but that was a yes, yes?”

Jeno leans back on the couch, knees shifting further apart, like he had in the astral plane, but… real. Donghyuck glances down at their hands. 

“If you’re cool with it,” he says, looking back up at Jeno. Maybe it’s a pointless thing to say; an unnecessary question in the middle of their descent into whatever they’re about to do. But these were his friends, and they weren’t untouchable anymore. _He_ wasn’t untouchable anymore. 

Jeno smooths his thumb over Donghyuck’s.

“Yeah, I’m cool with it,” he says, and Jeno tugs Donghguck down, sends him sprawling over him. His eyes crescent at Donghyuck’s startled sound, helps steady him so he’s sitting on him comfortably. “I’ve heard a pretty nice review, too.”

That, is as good an answer as any in Donghyuck’s book. Maybe even the best. He can’t help but laugh, any residual tightness in his chest easing. He looks over at Renjun who’s standing off to the side, watching. 

“Come here, dummy,” he says.

Renjun shakes his head but draws near nonetheless, slouching on the couch next to Jeno. He keeps— _looking_ at him and Donghyuck, newly assured that he’s _in_ this, is nothing if not restless. 

He pouts and leans closer, more and more alive as he goes. “Where are my _kisses_? I bring you to the astral plane and back for what? To not be k—”

Renjun sighs and rolls his neck, though maybe he just does it to hide his smile.

“—issed? I don’t think s—”

“Shut _up_ , Donghyuck,” he says, and he’s pulling Donghyuck closer by his collar, catching his mouth with his own. Donghyuck’s eyes flutter shut, words dying in his mouth. They’re kissing right over Jeno, who doesn’t seem to mind too much if the hand that returns to Donghyuck’s back means anything. Renjun’s lips are softer than he expected, which is a fun thought as Donghyuck didn’t know he had any expectations for his roommate’s lips to begin with.

Renjun starts slow, like he’s not sure if Donghyuck is sure. But Donghyuck is more than sure, the want in his gut festering while Renjun barely moves against him. He slaps his hand (softly) against Renjun’s jaw and grunts, hoping it conveys his go-ahead.

Donghyuck hears Renjun mumble something that sounds like _got it_ before Renjun’s rushing forward, like he’d done with Jeno before, reaching for Donghyuck and practically bowling the three of them over. He has one hand fisting Donghyuck’s shirt and the other on his neck and that’s just _fine_ with Donghyuck, who deepens their kiss, relishes in the tilt, the slide, the exhale he feels on his cheek.

He left his hand on Renjun’s jaw, feeling how it moved when he kissed Donghyuck, especially when he parts his lips a little more and coaxes Donghyuck to do the same, when he slips the tip of his tongue into his mouth. He jumps when another set of hands wind up on his hips, but it’s just Jeno trying to scooch up in his seat without upending him. With their legs pressed together, Jeno’s jeans drag against his sweats and Donghyuck barely holds in a sigh.

Donghyuck closes his mouth for the next kiss he gives Renjun, grinning when Renjun huffs against him. He slides his hand down so it rests more around the column of his neck than his jaw, feels Renjun swallow hard, and pulls away.

“What—” Renjun protests.

“Share,” Donghyuck lilts, and Renjun deadpans. He settles with a sigh, muttering something under his breath. Donghyuck turns to Jeno.

“Hey,” he says, raising his eyebrows at his best friend.

“Hey,” Jeno smiles in turn.

It must be said, Donghyuck’s thought about kissing Jeno in passing. Much like he’s thought about kissing just about everyone he likes being around even a little bit (Renjun a sort-of exception to this), at some point or another. Didn’t really ever think it would happen, but here they are.

Jeno’s very handsome, and nice, and smart, and funny, and generally good. And, because he’s here and it’d be rude to just gloss over him, so is Renjun, Donghyuck supposes. (That is meant to be consumed and understood the same way _because I fuck with you like that_ was. Thank you.) Just a couple of guys zero inches apart, feeling good, having a good time. 

Jeno squeezes his side and Donghyuck comes back to the matter at hand. Right. Kissing Jeno. He’s going to do that now.

Donghyuck leans in and plants a small kiss on the side of Jeno’s mouth to start, like it’s nothing. 

It kind of feels like everything.

He finds that Jeno kisses like he does a lot of things. 

Steadily.

He mostly follows Donghyuck’s lead, sweeping his hands up and across Donghyuck’s back as Donghyuck reaches up and holds his face. Donghyuck plays with the hair around his ears as they kiss, their noses bumping into each other before they fix their angle.

Jeno opens his mouth against Donghyuck’s with time, let’s him work at it for a while. It’s nice, the solidness, if that’s a word, from Jeno’s legs and his chest, contrasted by how gently Jeno liked to wrap his arms around them, to hold them. Though if they were to go any further than making out to the sound of David Attenborough droning on in the background Donghyuck could see it driving him up the wall. And that—

Well.

He’s getting ahead of himself. 

Donghyuck’s still holding Jeno’s face, doing his best to wear him down, for fun, and all ten of Jeno’s fingers are tapping somewhere along his spine, so when Donghyuck feels a hand on his leg it can only be Renjun. To say he purrs would be incorrect, but it’s a near thing as Renjun feels all the way up his calf, the bend of his knee, and his thigh, stopping just shy of his ass. He breathes in deeply, tries to settle all the nerves that keep shooting straight to his brain, letting him know he was, in fact, getting touched right now. In case he wasn’t aware. 

He makes abysmal efforts to part from Jeno, practically asking his _what?_ out of the side of his mouth. Renjun huffs from where he’s hooked his chin over Jeno’s shoulder.

“Share,” he says.

Donghyuck laughs right in Jeno’s face he’s so surprised. Luckily, Jeno’s laughing too. Some of the heat between them disperses. Coincidentally, Donghyuck just happens to look over to the other end of the couch in time to witness his laptop balancing precariously on the blanket he’d left in a heap. 

The corner of it is just starting to poke over the cushion, out into the open air, but it’s still sliding off, slowly. It’s not even closed all the way.

“Oh, shit,” he whispers. Donghyuck bumps two of his fingers under Renjun’s chin and gives him a solid smooch on him before he’s tucking and rolling off of Jeno.

“Where are you going?” Renjun asks.

“Putting my stuff away real quick,” he says, picking up his laptop and, when he pulls the blanket away, the bag of chips he’d truthfully almost forgotten about. 

Donghyuck throws the blanket over the back of the couch and pops a chip into his mouth, mustering up a glare for when he turns around and faces his friends again.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about this,” he says, shaking the bag in his grasp.

“If you hadn’t been spying on us, you would’ve had no idea we switched that out,” Renjun points out.

Donghyuck purses his lips and flips the bag around, pointing at the barcode in the bottom left corner.

“Yes, I would have,” he says. “I always do.”

Renjun and Jeno both squint at him. It clicks first for Jeno, what Donghyuck’s implying.

“No way,” he says.

“They’re very important to me,” Donghyuck repeats.

“I don’t get it,” says Renjun.

“Different serial number,” he says.

Renjun frowns, then taps his forehead, like he’s trying to jog the station in his brain responsible for receiving and interpreting soundwaves.

“You… memorize… the...”

Donghyuck nods and goes to put his stuff on their bar counter where they won’t be knocked over or crushed. Also to let Renjun process a little more.

“But? Every _single one_? Donghyuck you go through at least four bags a week I—”

Jeno shushes Renjun gently, smooths his hair back. “You’ll just upset yourself.”

“Donghyuck is an upsetting person to know.”

“Yes, but we like him anyway.” Jeno says it like a reminder, like one of Donghyuck’s aunt’s hymn-chants. 

Renjun relents, _I guess_ , and leans into Jeno’s touch.

“Wow,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes, looks at the wikiHow page still open on his laptop one last time before he snorts and shuts it. “Thanks.” 

Having now experienced both a Renjun kiss and a Jeno kiss, it’s a little more interesting seeing them come together. Donghyuck doesn’t go back to them just yet though, deciding he wants a glass of water. He thinks about offering to get them some, then guesses they’re kind of preoccupied at the moment, then remembers their last movie night and decides he’ll do it anyway.

“You guys need anything? Some snacks? A condom?” he holds up his glass. “Water?”

Renjun stops kissing Jeno (who politely declines) long enough to give Donghyuck a flat look, a little red in the face when he goes back in.

“Let me know,” he says with a laugh, pleased with his reference.

By the time he goes to join them, freshly hydrated as he is, they’re much more horizontal than they were before, Jeno hovering over Renjun as he sinks lower against the backrest.

“Having fun?” he asks.

Renjun pulls away from Jeno again, Jeno opting to nose at his jaw instead of breaking the kiss completely. 

“Can you please break out of the Mean Girls thing before you join us?” Renjun pleads.

Donghyuck narrows his eyes at him.

“Excuse me, I was already done with her. That was a question from _Donghyuck_ ,” he says.

“Okay, _Donghyuck_ , yes I’m having fun. Jeno, are you having fun?” Renjun asks.

Jeno turns slightly to look up at Donghyuck.

“Yes?”

“Donghyuck are _you_ having fun?”

“Yes,” he says, now his turn to look rather flat about it.

“Glad to hear it,” Renjun says, “now less talking, more climbing me like a tree Donghyuck, let’s _go_.”

“You’re so bossy,” Donghyuck notes. 

“I’m an actualizer,” he corrects, and is promptly shut up by Jeno. Donghyuck kneels down near their heads, their couch too small for the three of them to be rolling around on anyway. 

As Jeno and Renjun kiss Donghyuck can’t help but wonder how long the three of them have unknowingly been on the same page. How long they’ve all been caught up in pretending they didn’t want something like this. Taking in his roommate’s flushed face, the way he eagerly chases Jeno’s mouth every time their friend pulls back to breathe, the way Jeno shudders every time Renjun’s hands pass over his ribs, and how Donghyuck thinks that’s _neat_ , the glimmer in Renjun’s eyes when he turns to Donghyuck and asks _what are you waiting for?_ —Donghyuck thinks that whatever this something is, casual or indicative of more, it’s... good. They always do good by each other, don’t they?

Jeno sticks his finger up Renjun’s nose and Renjun yells.

“Jeno, what the _fuck_ —”

Donghyuck smiles.

“—I told you not to do that again after the last time—”

“I barely, like, breached your nostril, chill out—”

“Oh, my _god_. Breached? _Breached?_ Donghyuck, seriously if you don’t kiss me right now I’m going into my room and finding my heaviest book to—”

“Say no more,” Donghyuck says, exchanging a look with Jeno. Jeno exhales and nods, trying to get his smile under control, and Donghyuck doesn’t think about how Jeno has to move away for him to move _in_ before he ducks down and knocks their heads together.

They all wince, Jeno immediately rubbing both of their heads where they collided. He swoops down and kisses Donghyuck’s temple out of nowhere.

“Sorry,” he says.

“Y-yeah,” Donghyuck stutters— _actually_ stutters, a Real Blush rising up his neck for reasons he cannot fathom.

Jeno smiles sweetly at him, eyes crescenting the way they do, and if Donghyuck wasn’t already on his knees they might’ve buckled. 

“Cute Donghyuckie,” his best friend coos, cupping his face and kissing Donghyuck’s pout away. 

“Ooh, careful, I think that hand’s got the finger that went up my nose,” Renjun squints.

Jeno lets Donghyuck go with a pop and a wink and then he’s wiping his, admittedly clean-looking, finger across Renjun’s shirtfront.

“ _JENO_ —”

There’s no way Donghyuck’s face isn’t on fire at this point, so he gives Jeno one last flustered glance and then he’s throwing himself onto Renjun, who _mph_ ’s at the sudden onslaught. 

Renjun lands a hand on the back of Donghyuck’s head, fingers digging shallowly at his scalp in a way that sends shivers exploding down his neck. He adjusts his angle then really lays it on him, hoping to distract them both from literally everything Jeno has done in the last five minutes. Renjun doesn’t disappoint, picking up the pace with his mouth and the fingers he’s got in Donghyuck’s hair.

He lets his own hand wander over Renjun’s chest, drawing nonsensical shapes there with his fingertips as they kiss, eyes squeezed shut as he thought about how he could make Renjun feel _good_.

“What do you like?” he says, barely getting any space in between them to get that out. At first, Renjun ignores him in favor of continuing his personal mission of kissing his lips raw, but he pulls away with a sigh when Donghyuck starts poking him.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Like, when you’re doing this, what do you like the other person to do?”

His roommate looks long and hard at him, something like confusion on his face before he’s dismissing it with a chuckle. “This is great, you’re doing— _you’re doing amazing, sweetie_.”

Donghyuck gives him a look. 

“Seriously,” says Renjun, smile a bit more relaxed, “this is really nice. I like all the—” he raises his eyebrows at Donghyuck’s hand on his chest, at Jeno, who’s still sitting in between his legs, hands on Renjun’s knees, “—touching. Active participation, if you will. Just, no one has to wait their turn while the other two are going, you know?”

Donghyuck nods, then stops, smirking.

“Watching isn’t waiting, then?”

“Hm?”

“You like watching. Doesn’t seem like active participation to me.” 

Renjun narrows his eyes at him.

“...Exception.”

“Really?”

“That’s, like, half the fun for me.”

“I— well,” Donghyuck tilts his head, “that’s fair.” 

“Isn’t it?”

“Okay,” Renjun and Donghyuck look to Jeno as he speaks, “but get this. What if I… need… a break?” He says that, and yet Donghyuck doesn’t miss his hands’ slow descent down Renjun’s thighs.

“Why would you need a break?” Donghyuck asks.

“You guys are handfuls on your _own_ ,” he says matter-of-factly, well on his way to Renjun’s hips, “it’s called a refractory period.”

Renjun barks out a laugh, and exhales sharply through his nose when Jeno’s hands sweep over his hip bones.

“I think you can keep up just fine,” he says. 

“A capable boy,” Donghyuck mutters, thinking about how fitting it was that Jeno used _handfuls_ (and blatantly ignoring the other thing). Renjun’s fingers dig a little harder at the back of his head. Message received.

Donghyuck reaches for Jeno as he goes to kiss Renjun, aiming for where the end of his baby blue hoodie sits in front of his waistband. Renjun gives him a look and uses his other hand to grab at Jeno’s collar, bringing both him and Donghyuck closer. The lower Jeno leaned, the higher Donghyuck’s hand goes up his side. It’s about halfway to his armpit that Jeno shivers.

Donghyuck _mm?_ ’s and Renjun _mm_ ’s back, still kissing Donghyuck when he squeezes Jeno with his legs, knees poking in right under where Donghyuck was feeling Jeno up. 

“Guys,” Jeno huffs.

“Ticklish?” Donghyuck asks.

“Just, sensitive,” he sighs, knows he’s handed the other two a new target, shiny platter and all.

“Noted,” they say at the same time, giggling after.

Jeno puts his hand on Renjun’s chest, coming closer and closer until most of Donghyuck’s arm is pressed up against him, their laughter dying as he bears down on them. Donghyuck does his best not to squirm when Jeno’s breath starts hitting his ear.

“Are you gonna _do_ something there or— _oh_ ,” Donghyuck’s silenced so, so incredibly fast when Jeno’s mouth lands on his neck. The words _active participation_ ring nice and loud in his head. 

Donghyuck’s the warmest he’s ever been, getting kissed on the neck by his best friend, and struggling to keep up with his roommate’s mouth.

When Renjun isn’t kissing him he’s just _watching_ Jeno ruin him, occasionally pulling a little at the hair he’s buried his hand in. There’s one moment where Renjun tugs just right at the same time Jeno slides his mouth up higher on Donghyuck’s neck and Donghyuck genuinely fears whatever his face is on the brink of doing.

The last thing he needs is Renjun holding an ahegao incident over his head.

He blows a pointed breath out as Jeno keeps working at him, stretches his neck without really thinking about it. Jeno slides a hand around his nape to help hold him in place, the edge of his finger grazing one of Renjun’s.

“ _God_ ,” he sighs. 

“No,” Jeno nips, “just me.”

Donghyuck doesn’t know if he’s about to riot or combust into flames. One, how dare Jeno make a dad joke while he’s slowly dismantling him. Two, how dare Jeno be so good at slowly dismantling him. Three, he’s right, and when he says it his lips drag over Donghyuck’s skin, and has Donghyuck mentioned he’s slowly being dismantled?

Renjun removes his hand from the back of Donghyuck’s head to hook a finger over his collar, Donghyuck hissing when cool air hits his chest.

“Look at you, all flushed,” Renjun muses.

That doesn’t help. In any case, it just warms him up more, conscious that they can see it. Renjun doesn’t give him any time to think of a response, sitting up to kiss him. He barely feels Renjun touch the side of his face, support not really needed with Jeno still cupping his nape. That’s all the contact he gets before Renjun bites down on his bottom lip, briefly sucking on it after, and Donghyuck is helpless to the keening sound he lets out. 

He covers his face and slides down to the floor, leaving all the hands that were on him behind, embarrassment seering in his veins.

“That’s so— this is so much,” Donghyuck groans.

Renjun peers at him over the edge of the couch cushion, concerned.

“Like, bad?” he asks.

“No,” Donghyuck says, bemoaning the fact, “no, it’s really good. Like, really, really, really, _really_ —”

“I got you,” Renjun says, then he gestures at Jeno, “we can switch it up.”

“Oh?” Jeno asks, one eyebrow up.

“Do you… object?”

Jeno says nothing.

“Thought so,” Renjun says. He turns at a weird angle and slaps the cushion over to his head, “Hyuck come sit up here.”

Donghyuck rubs at his face and collects himself the best he can. When he stands his knees pop loud enough to make him look down.

“Yikes,” says Jeno.

He makes a vague gesture that’s supposed to mean _don’t worry about it_ , squatting a couple of times before he sits on the couch. Renjun’s face is upside down to him like this, and they must be struck with the same thought because Donghyuck puckers up and Renjun starts chanting, “Ma-ry Jane! Ma-ry Jane!” simultaneously.

Donghyuck laughs and bends at the waist to try kiss Renjun. For a second it starts going horribly, because of, you know, his spine and his organs, but Renjun props his head up on Donghyuck’s thigh and they make it work from there. It’s a little brief, but Donghyuck doesn’t mind too much, finding it a bit odd to have a chin all up on his nose. Renjun looks pleased though, the edge of his tooth catching his lip as he looks up at him. His eyes flick south, and Donghyuck brings his attention back up to Jeno, who’s looking exquisitely ruffled, clothes creased in every direction imaginable. With an expression that spells nothing but trouble, Renjun slips his hands under Jeno’s hoodie.

Jeno jumps at the touch, considerably more so than he had before, so Donghyuck suspects Renjun has delved under _all_ of his layers. 

“Renjun...” Jeno says, and it kind of sounds like a warning but Renjun is undeterred, Jeno’s hoodie hitching up as he goes higher and higher. A sliver of his taut stomach flashes through and Donghyuck has only seen Renjun this focused during finals. He seems set on drawing it out some, bending his wrists to touch as much of Jeno as he can without exposing anything new, then moving up some more and repeating the whole thing.

Donghyuck isn’t sure why Jeno’s actively holding back from reacting—maybe he fears an ahegao incident of his own—but it just makes the shivers and exhales that slip through the cracks that much… hotter. It’s kind of wild, that he’s here, Jeno panting in front of him, Renjun the reason _why_ Jeno’s like _that_ , and Donghyuck’s allowed to sit there and think it’s hot. Truly an unparalleled experience.

Jeno’s gaze is heavy, his mouth slightly open when he meets Donghyuck’s eyes. 

Definitely hot. Incredibly hot. Hot and unoccupied, which Donghyuck could fix.

He sees Jeno’s hoodie strings and in Donghyuck’s mind, he sees himself wrapping them around his fingers all tantalizing like, using them to bring Jeno closer. But, when he grabs them, he pulls a little too hard, and Jeno loses his balance, tumbling forward, bent legs bumping under Renjun’s, and sending Renjun’s socked feet up in the air. That makes Jeno laugh for some reason, even though he’s in a pretty compromising position in between Renjun’s knees and Donghyuck’s trying to revive the mood. When he looks up at Donghyuck, the documentary casts them in its brightest light yet, and Jeno starts laughing again. Like, really hard. Even when Renjun grumbles between them and pokes at his belly button, Jeno keeps laughing.

Donghyuck blinks at him for a bit, and when Jeno doesn’t stop, he asks, “What?”

Jeno doubles over, rests his forehead on Donghyuck’s shoulder for a second as he tries to get a hold of himself.

“We need to— switch this position up some, it’s too much— Renjun you gotta— oh my god.”

Slowly, Renjun clenches his fists and shoves them up over his face, ears burning a little at the tips.

“Jeno,” he says, slightly dismayed. He slides off Donghyuck’s leg.

“It’s either— you look like a baby because of the feet, or like we’re spit roasting you, and I can’t— I’m sorry, I don’t have the mental strength to switch between the two, w—”

Donghyuck experiences several cognitive errors at once because the baby thing was kind of true now that knew to look for it and also because Jeno Lee, the most quintessentially vanilla-looking among the three of them, just said _spit roasting_ in the context of Jeno-Renjun-Donghyuck. And, well, if he was looking for _that_ —

“Wow,” he stands up fast, mindlessly plucking at his clothes. 

“Also, Donghyuck I just realized you’ve had that stupid fucking mustache we drew on you this whole time and—” Jeno can’t finish his sentence, he wheezes so hard. “ _Fuck_.”

Renjun’s shaking with laughter from where he’s curled up into a little ball on the couch, breaking into straight up _guffaws_ when he looks at Donghyuck.

Shit. He’d completely forgotten.

“The...” Donghyuck touches his upper lip like he’ll feel it, “...mustache.” 

Jeno snorts at the mere mention of it.

“How did you ‘just realize’?” he asks incredulously.

“It’s dim in here! And I’ve been a little distracted. I only saw it because of the light—” he points at the TV. “It’s mostly smudged off anyway. I know it’s a mustache because I was here when Renjun drew it.”

“When who drew what?” Renjun asks.

“He probably saw, Renjun,” says Jeno.

They turn to him. 

Donghyuck nods and Renjun flops over on the couch with a sigh. “Can’t do anything now. Can’t eat your chips. Can’t draw a mustache on you while you sleep. Is nothing sacred?”

Donghyuck squints.

“No,” he says.

Renjun drapes a hand over his forehead and sighs, classically distraught even as Donghyuck ignores him and walks over to the bar counter, stretching over it instead of walking into the kitchen to get to the sink. He opens the faucet and dips his finger under the water to rub it over his lip. 

“Hey,” he says, stopping in front of Jeno.

Renjun looks up at him first.

“What?”

“Is the mustache gone?”

He beckons Donghyuck closer and eventually nods, clasping his hands over his stomach in disappointment.

“It’s nowhere _near_ as French.”

“Can’t even see it, Hyuck,” Jeno says, grabbing at the waistband of Donghyuck’s sweats to get him to sit.

Donghyuck sinks into the seat. He’s considering lobbing a pillow at Renjun for his transgressions when he realizes both of their designated couch pillows are nowhere to be seen. His first guess is that, while no one tossed them back there, they were behind the couch. That’s just where they always end up. Behind the couch. Many things do, actually.

Hm.

“Hey. You good?”

It’s Jeno who asks, nudging Donghyuck’s shoulder when he doesn’t answer right away.

“Yeah? Yeah. Eventful night,” he nudges him back, wiggling his eyebrows as he does. 

Jeno nods, knocking his knee into Donghyuck’s, “You can say that again. Didn’t think that was what we’d end up doing when I came over, and yet…” he trails off, eyes following the snake on TV. 

Donghyuck looks back and forth between Jeno and the reptile he was so entranced by. What had it been? A minute, and he was sucked back in?

Remarkable. Jeno’s knee knocks into his again, and Donghyuck gets an idea.

“Hey, Renjun?” he says. 

Renjun’s head pops up, apprehensive.

“Yes...?”

Donghyuck sneaks his hand onto Jeno’s thigh. Renjun’s eyes follow diligently, flicking back up to meet his with a smirk.

Renjun sits up and places his hand on Jeno’s other thigh.

“What was it that we were?” Donghyuck asks, squeezing softly at the meat of Jeno’s inner thigh.

Jeno’s gaze drops to his lap, glancing at the two of them out of the corners of his eyes before he brings himself back to watching the documentary. Donghyuck can’t help but think he looks like he’s bracing himself again.

“Oh. Hm...” Renjun looks skyward as he thinks. “Was it… ‘handfuls’? Yeah, I think it was ‘handfuls’.”

“Ah,” Donghyuck muses, watching as Renjun traces the inseam of Jeno’s jeans. “Interesting.”

Before Renjun could add to that, Jeno stills their hands with his own. He intertwines their fingers together and loops their arms around their respective shoulders, essentially trapping Renjun and Donghyuck with their own limbs.

“We just did this, I feel like,” he says. “Refractory period.”

Donghyuck wrinkles his nose and contorts himself enough to swat at Jeno with his free arm.

“One, I think you’re being a little liberal with your definition of refractory period. Two, lame. Free us. Renjun, come be a handful with me.”

Jeno reluctantly loosens his hold on them and Renjun wastes little time in crawling over Jeno to get to him. Donghyuck tucks his feet under him as he turns, so of course Renjun’s first move is to splay his hands on his thighs, pressing down on them as he leans forward. Donghyuck looks down. “This is… not what I meant, but okay.”

“Literally what else could you have possibly meant?”

“Uh… no, I don’t know either, don’t listen to me. I don’t know.”

Renjun tilts his head, “You okay?” 

The question, though Jeno had literally asked him the same thing just now, makes Donghyuck aware of how tired he is. He rubs at his face, so it doesn’t set in behind his eyes.

“I think I’m the _teeniest_ bit worn out from, you know, traversing into a metaphysical plane, but other than that, yeah. I’m okay,” he says.

“What if I…” Renjun walks his fingers up Donghyuck’s leg until he’s at his hip, “wake you up?”

“Oh?” he says with interest.

“Or... put you to sleep?”

“...Oh...?”

“What does that even mean?” asks Jeno.

“He’s about to find out,” Renjun says.

“You sound like an advert for allergy medication,” says Donghyuck.

“I’ll clear you out.”

He almost does with that statement alone.

“What—”

Renjun puts an end to his confusion with his mouth, practically climbing into Donghyuck’s lap and sending them backwards. If Donghyuck’s chip bags were still there they would’ve been done for. 

Foresight twenty-twenty, baby.

Donghyuck wraps his arms around Renjun’s waist to try and contain them. Renjun cups his cheeks so softly, looks him in the eyes so tenderly, Donghyuck’s heart stutters in his chest. That is, it does until Renjun goes right for his bottom lip, biting and sucking on it with fervor.

“Wha’re you doin’?” he mumbles, hoping it only feels like he’s drooling.

“Fall,” Renjun whispers.

“Uh?”

“On Jeno. Fall over. Both of us.”

“Soun’s… ‘nnoying.”

Renjun gives him a look.

“...‘kay.”

Donghyuck repossesses his bottom lip and closes his mouth, lest either of them bites off anything important. He secures one arm around Renjun’s back and frees the other one, rocking forward, like he’s too caught up in kissing Renjun to notice them tipping in Jeno’s direction. (He kind of does get caught up. Renjun smiling against his lips distracts Donghyuck enough to change their trajectory, sending them sideways into Jeno, instead of straight down into his lap.)

Jeno lets out at _oof_ as Renjun’s head lands square on his stomach, Donghyuck accidentally hitting him in the face with the arm he flails about in a lame attempt to recalibrate. To top it off, Donghyuck ends up smacking his mouth into Renjun’s, their teeth _clack_ -ing together awfully hard.

“Fuck,” he and Renjun moan, both holding a hand to their mouths.

Jeno looks down at them with absolutely zero surprise, muttering _oops_ to himself in their stead. He sighs and lays his arms over them. Donghyuck tries to get up, Renjun pinned underneath him, but Jeno is actively holding them down.

“Hello?”

“I think you two need a break, too,” Jeno says, perfectly content to keep them like that.

“What!” Renjun tries and fails to buck Donghyuck off. “Who says!” 

“I do,” says Jeno, “and so does he,” he shakes Donghyuck who snaps his eyes open. Damn.

“You’re falling asleep?” Renjun asks, craning his neck to look at him. “How are you comfortable like this...”

It’s not so much that Donghyuck is comfortable, but that his body is making several executive decisions to shut him down for the night. If he ignores how he’s a couple of minutes away from overheating between Renjun and Jeno, and the strain in his neck from hanging his head in the empty space over Renjun’s shoulder (which he does), yeah, Donghyuck is comfortable. 

Jeno, in a feat of strength Donghyuck doesn’t comprehend, hoists both Renjun and Donghyuck off of him and higher up on the couch so only their feet were in his lap. 

“Hm,” says Donghyuck.

“Yes,” Renjun says, just as contemplative, “ _hm_ , indeed.”

Donghyuck yawns, cozy in the corner of the couch Jeno had inadvertently tucked him into, Renjun turns to him, eyes dragging all over his face before he wiggles his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder, mirroring the one Donghyuck still had around his back.

Donghyuck gasps, widening his eyes as much as he can.

“Renjun… are you _cuddling_ with me?”

His friend grimaces, “We just made out. Like, a lot, Donghyuck.”

“But, you don’t cuddle,” Donghyuck whispers.

“I can stop…?”

“No,” Donghyuck says quickly, throwing a leg over Renjun. “This is nice.”

Renjun sighs, and Donghyuck sneaks a kiss onto his cheek, snuggling into his side while he splutters. He doesn’t push Donghyuck off, so he settles, and Renjun eventually relaxes in his hold, resting his cheek on top of Donghyuck’s head.

Occasionally, the documentary splashes a light on them so bright Donghyuck can see an impression of it through his eyelids, but the rise and fall of Renjun’s chest, the involuntary squeeze Renjun gives him every once in a while, Donghyuck’s own exhaustion—sees his own breaths evening out in no time.

“Hey.”

Donghyuck snuffles.

“Psst. Guys.”

Renjun groans.

“You two comfy over there?”

The couch shifts and Donghyuck cranks his eye open to see Jeno standing over them.

“It’d be a shame if someone… decided to be a little shit and... change that... huh?”

“Jen...”

The man is inconsolable, rocking back and catapulting himself onto Renjun and Donghyuck like an awful, heavy meteor falling from the stratosphere. Their protests go something like _no, no, n—hngh! Owww_ , followed by some squirming, Jeno the epitome of smug the entire time.

“It was a good movie night guys,” he says, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and draping it over the three of them, “we should do it again sometime.”

Donghyuck spits Jeno’s hair out his mouth, resigning himself to the reality of their new arrangement with a sigh. He slings the arm that’s not under Renjun across Jeno’s chest. Mostly satisfied with his position, except...

“Can you get your elbow out of my stomach, please?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah—” Jeno moves his arm, “—sorry about that, bro.”

“All good, bro,” he says, patting Jeno’s chest once.

“...Goodnight,” says Renjun, closing his eyes.

“Hey, wait. No goodnight kiss?” Donghyuck says.

“Weren’t you just falling asleep?”

“Kiss first, sleep right after,” he says, making kissy noises right into Renjun’s ear.

Renjun does not appreciate this, recoiling away from Donghyuck and making a face. “Do you ask wikiHow how to be insufferable or are you just like this?”

“No, and actually, I was thinking about that today. I think it might run in my family,” he says.

“You don’t say.”

“I do say. So, no kiss goodnight—”

Renjun opens his mouth.

“—bro?”

He closes it just as fast.

“Definitely not,” he says.

Jeno laughs quietly as he turns to the documentary. He presses a kiss to his palm then slaps it onto Donghyuck’s forehead.

Donghyuck looks at his own hand, and then at his friend’s foreheads, thinking.

“Don’t,” whispers Renjun.

He grins and kisses his fingers, Renjun exhaling heavily when he touches them to his forehead then drags them down his nose and to his lips. Donghyuck does his best to give Jeno an honest kiss on the cheek, and then he settles down. Renjun follows soon after Donghyuck stops fidgeting, leaning his head against Donghyuck’s and tucking his hair behind his ear without a word.

Maybe, he wasn’t getting a kiss goodnight tonight—if you exclude… every other kiss that happened beforehand—and maybe they’d have some things to talk through tomorrow morning, but Donghyuck thinks about Jeno’s _we should do it again sometime_ and knows with confidence that comes, not from wikiHow or the omniscience of the astral plane, but from knowing Renjun, his roommate, and Jeno, his best friend—

He’d get that kiss eventually. 

Donghyuck sinks.

**Author's Note:**

> **Work Cited**
> 
> Staff, wikiHow. “How to Perform Astral Projection.” _WikiHow_ , WikiHow, Updated 23 Nov. 2019, www.wikihow.com/Perform-Astral-Projection.
> 
> (you can find me here: [twt](https://twitter.com/itsmclovinbot) & [cc](https://curiouscat.me/lexiconartist) !! thank you for reading !!)


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